Stop Fighting Yourself
Title: Stop Fighting Yourself
Medium: Oil and Acrylic on canvas
Size: 91.5 x 91.5cm
The confused facial expression leads to a variety of different impressions one can get from this piece. The bright, popping colors and cartoonish tone of the painting make it not seem as serious as it may be, but the expression and the necklace of thorns inspired by Frida Kahlo tell a different story. The dewy look left on the hair, leaves and flowers contrasted by the serious undertones suggest that a storm has passed and a metaphorical rain is over.
Medium: Oil and Acrylic on canvas
Size: 91.5 x 91.5cm
The confused facial expression leads to a variety of different impressions one can get from this piece. The bright, popping colors and cartoonish tone of the painting make it not seem as serious as it may be, but the expression and the necklace of thorns inspired by Frida Kahlo tell a different story. The dewy look left on the hair, leaves and flowers contrasted by the serious undertones suggest that a storm has passed and a metaphorical rain is over.
Planning
Joanne Lee, 2014
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In the beginning, I wanted to make a painting that embodied my existence somewhat. I began looking for inspiration that included somewhat of a 'tainted' part of symbolism. I looked up oil painters because that was the medium I was using and I came across Joanne Lee. She is a new painter who makes stunning portraits that look glitched somewhat. I wanted to emulate this style very badly, so I created sketches on my computer to add lines and distorted shapes. Unfortunately however I lost those sketches and I'm very unhappy about it. Anyways, I continued on, and I traced my finished sketch using a projector onto a large 3 foot by 3 foot canvas.
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However, when I started painting, I realized how difficult it was to make the "glitched" part of the painting happen. Using oil paints was not conclusive to this effort. I was supposed to drag each individual color out a little and that was difficult for me, so I got frustrated and moved past it to look for another inspiration. I looked to Frida Kahlo and her painting Self-Portrait with Thorn Necklace and Hummingbird and decided that this was perfect inspiration due to the strong symbolism behind every image included. Normal people looked at Kahlo like she was abnormal and strange, and that's how I feel everyday, so I felt as if it was appropriate for me to use her as an inspiration on a personal level.
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Self-Portrait with Thorn Necklace and Hummingbird, Frida Kahlo, 1940.
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Process
As I began, I found it very difficult for me to add flesh tone considering as primarily an illustrator I do everything in ink pen. I liked to fill in the eyes first on most of my pictures, but doing so on my painting only allowed for the black paint to drag around and blend when I tried to put skin tone around it. Another struggle I came across over the course of my painting is that I feel as if I'm permanently trapped in an anime-like style. All the features seemed too smoothed out and too glossy. The eyes were too shiny and the eyelashes too long; the lips also began very shiny as well. I have two piercings in my nose and I found those difficult to make look like real silver metal due to the fact that I like to outline everything I do. My favorite part was being able to mix the colors I needed from a simple starter set of oil paint I bought. It made me feel accomplished that I was able to get such a wide variety of color from not many to begin with.
When I had to move onto different sections, such as the differences between the face and the hair, I had to wait for the first to dry before I could move onto the next in order to not accidentally blend the two together. It takes about 3 days for my oil paint to successfully dry and be safe to touch without smudging (too terribly). I had to wait a whole three days after I painted the face to move onto the hair, and by that point I had lost much of my motivation to continue. However I knew that I had to finish this and that in the end, it would look very good to my standards which are very high.
On some levels, I liked the look of my painting before my blending got too smooth. I liked the blocky look, but I was attempting to emulate Frida Kahlo's painting style at this point. Her areas of color were not very spread out or blended but they all eventually came together so I felt as if blending at this point was the most useful.
Once I got to the hair, I got stuck. No matter how much I looked at my reference image, it was so difficult for me to get the shadows correct. I stuck with painting a darker base layer for the hair and dragged out white with a large, bristly paintbrush. This finally created the shading effect that I wanted; it was dark in some areas, and the highlights looked like there were individual strands of hair instead of one large area of color. After the hair and body were done, I moved onto the background and the thorn necklace. I made mine smaller than Frida's original because it proportionately looked right considering the height between the chin and the bottom of the canvas. I painted daffodil flowers, less commonly known as Stella De Oros, meaning Golden Stars, because these reflect my namesake and remind me of my garden at home. I helped my mom in the garden many times when I was younger and I still help her plant flowers in the fall. They symbolize family and my connection to my name.
When I had to move onto different sections, such as the differences between the face and the hair, I had to wait for the first to dry before I could move onto the next in order to not accidentally blend the two together. It takes about 3 days for my oil paint to successfully dry and be safe to touch without smudging (too terribly). I had to wait a whole three days after I painted the face to move onto the hair, and by that point I had lost much of my motivation to continue. However I knew that I had to finish this and that in the end, it would look very good to my standards which are very high.
On some levels, I liked the look of my painting before my blending got too smooth. I liked the blocky look, but I was attempting to emulate Frida Kahlo's painting style at this point. Her areas of color were not very spread out or blended but they all eventually came together so I felt as if blending at this point was the most useful.
Once I got to the hair, I got stuck. No matter how much I looked at my reference image, it was so difficult for me to get the shadows correct. I stuck with painting a darker base layer for the hair and dragged out white with a large, bristly paintbrush. This finally created the shading effect that I wanted; it was dark in some areas, and the highlights looked like there were individual strands of hair instead of one large area of color. After the hair and body were done, I moved onto the background and the thorn necklace. I made mine smaller than Frida's original because it proportionately looked right considering the height between the chin and the bottom of the canvas. I painted daffodil flowers, less commonly known as Stella De Oros, meaning Golden Stars, because these reflect my namesake and remind me of my garden at home. I helped my mom in the garden many times when I was younger and I still help her plant flowers in the fall. They symbolize family and my connection to my name.
Reflection
My final project didn't turn out how I originally planned; however, that was okay. The inspiration I got from Frida Kahlo helped my project out immensely, in that I was able to include nature and family/personal connections to my art. The thorn necklace in my piece symbolizes how I'm extremely hard on myself.
While my piece does not especially look like a Kahlo piece, the symbolism from the elements taken from the original piece suit mine to a T. I really appreciate how I was able to use my own personal style and imbue elements from famous works to apply symbolism and contrast in my piece. I applied a dewy, raindrop look near when I was finishing my piece because I wanted it to symbolize how a storm has passed, the flowers are opening up and I'm drying off. The storm in question would most definitely have to symbolize my teenage years; they are getting close to ending, but I'm not out of them yet. I'm very thankful to have been blessed with visual skills so strong that I was able to accomplish this piece in time and yet have it be something that I'm proud to show off.
While my piece does not especially look like a Kahlo piece, the symbolism from the elements taken from the original piece suit mine to a T. I really appreciate how I was able to use my own personal style and imbue elements from famous works to apply symbolism and contrast in my piece. I applied a dewy, raindrop look near when I was finishing my piece because I wanted it to symbolize how a storm has passed, the flowers are opening up and I'm drying off. The storm in question would most definitely have to symbolize my teenage years; they are getting close to ending, but I'm not out of them yet. I'm very thankful to have been blessed with visual skills so strong that I was able to accomplish this piece in time and yet have it be something that I'm proud to show off.